Stuck On You
by ElizaGolightly
Summary: An angsty, fluffy, pretty oneshot of Jou reminiscing about the few months he had with Kaiba.


**A/N – **I know I shouldn't have written it when I'm still writing 'Fix You' but I couldn't help it, was the only way to vent my anger. Shame on me! L. xx

**NOTES – **It's a SetoxJou fiction, this time me favouring the original names, as it's only an ickle story. Don't like it, then don't read and certainly don't flame. I know lots of weird and freaky individuals that I would not be afraid to send your way.

**DISCLAIMER – **I most certainly don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! however much I wish I could and I also don't own the song that also inspired me to write it, 'Stuck On You' by Stacie Orrico. Love the girl and only wish I had half her talent!

** please read and review, even if you think its total pants. cheers my darlings. **

* * *

**I'm Stuck On You**

**A little angsty/fluffy/pretty story that I suddenly felt inspired to write during a conversation with my friends about ex-boyfriends. Buggers, aren't they?**

* * *

* * *

* * *

"Jou." I heard you say and I knew it was you. I could never mistake the difference between the tone you used for me and the tone for everyone else.

I turned around a small way and, sure enough, saw you standing there, as beautiful as ever. Your hair and eyes glistened under the Christmas lights put up in the park. You had never looked more comfortable or relaxed, replacing the trench coat with jeans, a scarf and a fleece jacket. Nobody would recognise you, completely incognito. But beneath the exterior, I could see that you had yet to thaw, nothing had changed. I still couldn't make your eyes light up, not even for a second.

* * *

As I walked through the park, that evening, I couldn't help but reminisce, not when there were so many things to make me remember last Christmas. The first Christmas with you where you told me you loved me for the first time and I believed you. I hadn't even noticed your eyes by then which made it hurt all the worse.

I remember those few months so clearly, yes the months with you, because they were undoubtedly the best I ever had.

I often looked back at times when I was ill; you kept me in your bed all weekend, fed me soup and then held me while I slept. You didn't care about getting ill yourself; you were more concerned with caring for me.

It was looking back on times like this that overwhelmed me love for you so much that I could cry. I would break down and cry in this very park for the whole world to see if it made you love me.

That was another thing you were good at, comforting me. I really did cry too much, probably most of the time on purpose because I knew you would hold me, kiss me and reassure me. You always told me everything would be fine, and I believe you. You also said you'd never leave me and I believed it. You lied to me too often! Couldn't you see that I'm insecure? I need someone there all the time to hold me! I needed you there to hold me, because I love you and I pray to god that I don't but I do! I still do but there is nothing you can do about it. You didn't need to lie, you should have been honest with me and then this pain could have been short-lived and I hate you for that, but not enough to cancel you out. It would seem that that was one trick you never taught me. Maybe there was a reason, I don't know. You're still playing with my head and I should've seen it coming but I loved you too much, and still do, so wrapped up in you to notice that nothing was returned in exchange.

But beyond everything you were good at that I was remembering, more vivid than any other memory, was the remembrance of you. The way you smelled, so sweetly of vanilla just because you knew it was my favourite fragrance, the way you always wore the clothes that I thought suited you the best, just because I said so. But also the way you would look at me, doing absolutely nothing or being a complete idiot, but always smile nonetheless. The way you always let me mess your hair up despite having spent half an hour making it perfect for a board meeting, and you didn't mind, you didn't snap at me or put me down. You were perfect for me, so why did you do it? Because the clearest memory I ever had of just you was when you told me, told me that you didn't love me and were caught up in the hype of everything, that you were planning for weeks of how to break it to me.

Why? You did so much for me, you acted like you loved me and you made me believe every word you said. You had a knack of doing that didn't you; because you sure as hell made sure I believed it when you told me to leave.

"Just get out, Jou. I can't stand your whining anymore! What part of 'I don't love you' did you not understand, Jou! Why do this now? Please just go!"

Those words swimming around my mind for weeks. Did you know that I was even tempted to do something stupid? I spent every night, the best part of two months, just drinking it all away until you made me numb, stopped me feeling anything and made me almost inhuman. Did you know that my friends all left me? They went on to bigger and better things, couldn't stand to be around the love-sick, drunken fool any longer. They couldn't look after me anymore, not after the way you did, it wasn't enough. I was desperate for you for so long, I even contemplated that even if you were just pretending to love me, even being with someone else at the same time, it would be the same for me, I would love you and you would seem to love me and all would be better. The amount of letters I wrote proposing that very idea until I realised, there must have been a reason you didn't want me anymore, and that was just it. You didn't want **me.** I was the problem and begging to have you back under any circumstance wouldn't change your mind.

So I got onto anti-depressants, Yugi being the only person still willing to talk to me every now and then, convincing me to give it all up, after all, drinking, pills and depression wasn't a good route for me to take. But you made me like it; you made me feel so low, so worthless, because the only person I would ever love as deeply as you had just pushed me away like that.

But I'm past all that now, I'm through with it, but I'm still not over you. I'll never be, but at least I'm a stronger person. If I were ever to see you again, I knew I could handle it, stand my ground and make sure you didn't make me crumble.

But that was a theory to be tested.

* * *

"Jou, please." You said my name again and this time I felt compelled to turn completely, look at you and soak it all in, because I was sure this would be the last time. You said you were sorry and my heart melted, never in the time I had known you would you ever apologise. You would always skirt around some useless excuse of an apology, but never actually say, "I'm sorry."

"You've already done too much for 'sorry' to help." I said, maintaining eye contact, despite knowing it wouldn't happen, praying for some kind of sign within them, to show me that you had seen sense and decided to come back to me after all, but they were still eyes of ice, staring blankly with no meaning.

"I know." You said simply, looking at me, ashamed? Once I thought I was an expert in terms of what emotions could be shown on the Great Kaiba's face, but not today, today I was as clueless as I was the day you told me to leave.

And then it happened. I don't know how, but a single tear fell down your cheek, melting the ice within that eye, causing it to look at me honestly if just for a second before you froze over again. And what I saw shocked me, what I saw was regret, compassion and…love. I didn't understand, but it gave me an overpowering feeling for me to run to you, wipe the tear away, hold you, kiss you and reassure you. But I couldn't, I wouldn't just forgive and forget just like that. But I soon found my voice again.

"I hate you…" I started, feeling that in this case, honesty was the best policy. If I lied to him, I was as bad as he ever was. "But I love you and I can't stop thinking about you. I'm…I'm stuck. I don't know what to do, all you did was break me down, shatter me and smash my heart. You drove my friends away and you never left me alone. You hurt me, wounded my pride, made me embarrassed and left me broken hearted on your doorstep. So now you see why your 'sorry' would mean nothing to me."

The whole time you looked at me, speechless. I couldn't tell whether you genuinely were stumped for an answer, or you were just being you, the real you that you failed to show me until that day.

And then you opened your mouth to speak, I waited anxiously, but then you closed it again. That was enough for me. You didn't care; I was kidding myself if I ever saw you thaw for a second. So I turned to walk away, proud of myself that I was containing the tears that just wanted to spill and the fact that I was strong enough, I had strength enough to turn away from you even though it killed me inside.

"Wait!" You said as I took a few steps away. But I never turned around; I wouldn't be fooled by you anymore. "I…I know 'sorry' means nothing to you and for that I'm sorry. But for the past eight months I've been waiting for you, I was waiting for you to come home. But you never did."

And that was enough. You were waiting for me to come home. Why couldn't you find me? I wasn't the other side of the world so it was a rubbish excuse, one that I wouldn't have even had to think about. So I continued walking, and carried on even as you told me he loved me. The second time you had ever told me, but this time I wasn't going to fall into your trap, you weren't going to hold me as your mind prisoner anymore, because I was stronger than this. This was what you had inevitably done to me.

But when I made the ever fateful decision to glance back at you, and what I saw made my heart fall out of my chest and dash back to you. You were crouched on the floor, crying. In tears because I had walked away from you, like you did to me so many months ago. But I couldn't give in now. I was strong. I tugged back at my heart and turned away, tears falling silently down my face as I walked, faster than before. Then I realised I am now, and always will be stuck on you. And nothing would ever let that go.

* * *

**A/N** – So honestly, what did you think? I was tempted by a happy ending, but in reality with my inspirations, there were no happy endings and it would have been unrealistic. But never mind that, please tell me what you thought, good/bad, constructive criticism always welcome, invited with wide open arms! Thankyou! L. xx


End file.
